


The Terror of Magic

by Arcadian_Skye



Category: Original Work
Genre: Blood, Death, Explosion, Modern Fantasy, PTSD, Panic, The Wax Phoenix Project, Trauma, Trigger Warnings Galore, mind magic, no seriously, this story is rough, vomitting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 13:44:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13249455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arcadian_Skye/pseuds/Arcadian_Skye
Summary: Cody was simply banging his head against the proverbial wall at work.Alex was working her connections at a political convention.They didn't expect the day to end in blood.





	The Terror of Magic

**Author's Note:**

> Please pay attention to the tags. This chapter has a lot of triggering content.
> 
> No really.
> 
> Here, I'll post the triggers again right here.
> 
> panic, vomitting, blood, explosion, PTSD, death, trauma
> 
> turn back if these will trigger you
> 
> please

Cody briefly flicked his eyes in the direction of the crash outside before returning to his job. He was stocking various food items onto repetitive grey shelves in the local entirely-too-large-to-exist department store. He was far more concerned with work for it to really register on his radar. It certainly did not provide nearly enough distraction from his increasing frustration with a customer who started out asking way too many questions and was now basically complaining about anything and everything. He was about ready to tear his dark hair out when he finally had the opportunity to take his break and retreat to the back of the store. Sinking into one of the couches in the break room, he took the moment to simply close his eyes and relax. The white ceiling, grey floor, and taupe walls provided little comfort and always irritated him. It lacked a human touch, and he felt it revealed how much the company cared about its employees in a way. Unfortunately, someone started poking him just as his shoulders started properly relaxing. Literally.

“Hey, you’re a Yale student right?” He opened his eyes to the sight of his overweight female coworker literally poking his side with a pen and looking at him wide-eyed. He had not previously decided if she counted as a friend or not as they never really hung out outside of work. At the very least, they got along, and she was much easier to work with than most. However, he knew for a fact that she knew he was a student, so why on earth would he justify her with an answer? He set his angled jaw and stared at her in response. After a moment she huffed and plopped down next to him on the beat up pleather couch. Her eyebrows furrowed on her round face, and she started fiddling with the hem of her black uniform shirt with one of her hands. That got his attention, as she was normally boisterous, and this was far out of her typical character.

He sat up straighter and hesitantly responded, “Yah… why?” He paused and corrected himself, “Well actually it’s summer; I’m not really a student right now.”

Her hazel eyes met his blue for a fraction of a second before she looked away. “Something happened on campus; I don’t really know the details. Figured you might know?” she asked while spinning the pen she poked him with in her hands. What was she trying to get from him? Or perhaps she was avoiding something altogether.

“I don’t, actually. I know someone on campus though. Should be in one of her summer classes right around now.”

“You should, uh… maybe call her?” she prodded while still resolutely not making eye contact.

He paused briefly before sighing and rubbing his face. “Alright, what do you know? Why are you freaked out about this.?”

She explained so quickly that her words ran together, making her hard to understand, “There’s been an explosion or something around there. Figured you’d want to know.”

His heart skipped a bit. “Yah, okay. That’s worth calling about,” he glanced at the clock and sighed, trying to quell the tension building in his chest, “I have five more minutes.” With that, he retreated to fetch his cell from the lockers and proceeded to call Alexandra. It rang for a minute or so, during which time he had wrapped an arm around himself and continued holding the phone with his other hand. She didn’t pick up. He just stared at his phone for a moment before taking a deep breath and calling her again, releasing a slow, shaky exhale as he waited. She still didn’t pick up. He redialed again and started pacing the back room. When she still didn’t pick up, he jogged out of the room and looked for the nearest manager while doing his best to ignore his trembling frame.

He searched the dark blue floors and various aisles. For reasons he didn’t entirely understand, it felt inappropriate to talk about this over the private com system. After a few minutes, he spotted one of the managers. Voice shaking, he confronted the older female manager, “Listen, I need to go. There’s a situation at the school, and I just… need to… I don’t know.” He closed his eyes tight and pinched the bridge of his nose trying his best not to freak out too much.

She took a long moment looking at him. Reluctantly she nodded, “I heard something about it too. You’ve got time off still available. Take a half day. Finding a way to cover your shift shouldn’t be too hard.” Under her breath finished with, “I hope.”

“Thank you. Really.” He released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and offered her a small smile before practically sprinting to the back of the store. He clocked out in a flash and regretted his miserly ways upon remembering he biked to work today. The school was a good twenty minutes away on bike, and he didn’t have the money to call a taxi. He ran out the door, flung himself onto his bike, and pedaled as hard as he could. He tried calling her again while streaking down street after street, but she still didn’t answer. His eyes watered, but he couldn’t tell if it was from the wind battering his face or emotions he was trying to stuff into the back of his mind. He was crossing one of the larger roads while he redialed her yet again when he felt a rush of wind in front of him and a blaring horn followed be the screech of tires. He dodged the car but couldn’t bring himself to check if the driver was okay. He blinked and stuffed the resulting panic into the back of his mind with the rest of his whirling emotions. He reluctantly pocketed the phone and focused on biking there faster.

After fifteen minutes he was near the school, and it wasn’t hard to figure out where to go once it was in sight. Following the flashing lights and sirens, he ended up at the school’s convention center. Officers surrounded the building and were doing their best to keep away curious onlookers. Amongst all the smoke , he could just make out the details of the inside of the building. An entire section of wall and flooring appeared to be missing. He decided to test his luck and pulled up near an officer on his bike.

A dark skinned officer spoke before he even had a chance to, leveling him with a glare, “I need you to leave. This area is under investigation, and we’re still getting the situation under control.”

Cody glanced briefly at the several busy ambulances at the end of the street before looking back to question the officer, “I’m not trying to get in. Just tell me where I can find someone who might’ve been here.”

The officer ran his hand through his short black hair, lifting his hat to do so. He gave Cody a sympathetic look. “We can’t let anyone near the site or the injured. If the person you’re looking for is injured, you’ll just have to wait for the hospital to contact you or the person themself. Otherwise, witnesses have been taken to a church a street over. I think we’ve finished questioning everyone over there for now, and people are just collecting there to find loved ones at this point. Try there.”

Nodding and giving a short word of thanks, Cody biked to the church in question. For the first time it crossed his mind that this was not a small event. At least a few hundred people had collected in and around this church. A thin steeple towered overhead, and the walls were covered in stone siding. The door was large and far higher than Cody’s 5’10” height. At the top was a stained glass design. Once in the church, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to ask anyone for help. Some people were just lying down on the wooden pews. A few people still spattered with flecks of blood were crying or hugging each other for comfort under the vaulted wooden ceiling. Cody stood there for a moment, averting his eyes to the hardwood floor when he felt tears threatening an unwelcome appearance. These people didn’t deserve this. Yes, there was some political event going on at the convention center, but this was just inhumane. He had to fight the bile in his throat, and his instinct to check for injuries. Logically he knew that these people had already been cleared, but the blood told his heart he needed to act. Blinking back tears and taking a deep breath, he started searching the church room by room. Eventually it occurred to him he could call her and listen for her ring tone. Without paying attention to how many times he redialed, he went through every room, each with a similar wooden floor but different colored paint on the walls, and couldn’t find her. He returned to the front of the church and stepped out the front door, deciding to circle the church. He didn’t find her in the immediate perimeter, so he went to the park he noticed earlier just behind the church. He refused to stop looking, resolutely refused to cave to the fear clawing at his chest.

He was still dialing her phone, but he didn’t hear it even in the park. With a sigh of relief, he finally spotted her. Next to a lamp post with a few trees to the side, Alexandra had curled in on herself. She was on her knees, both arms wrapped around her stomach and bent over a small puddle of liquid. He had never seen her look so small. He didn’t want to scare her, but he wanted her to know he was there, that he came for her and she was not alone. With that in mind, he decided to simply sit next to her and wait for her to acknowledge him before touching or talking to her. Her black heels had been discarded to the side, and her black skirt was long enough to keep anything from being revealed. He couldn’t see her face, her raven hair acting as a curtain. Her red collared shirt was disheveled, and he tried not to think about what the darker spots might mean scattered across the side of her arm.

About ten minutes after he sat down, Alex’s head turned just a touch to the side. With a false bravado, she addressed him, “Shouldn’t you be at work right now?”

Her abrasive nature might have amused him in another situation, but right now it just concerned him. Since she had scarcely moved, he decided to stay still himself and simply explained, “I heard something happened. I called a few times, but you never answered. It wasn’t hard to get permission to leave and find you.” He spoke as gently as he could, but she still flinched a bit at the new sound. After another five minutes passed, his mind started to wander despite his desire to stay focused on her. He wanted to know what happened, desperately wanted to know what she was thinking. For the first time, he found himself jealous of her heraldic mind magic.

She eventually pulled her phone out of the side pocket of her skirt and showed it to him. The screen was cracked and flickering. “I... uh… dropped it at some point during the uhm… stampede. Didn’t lose it though,” she mentioned, head still down and looking away. She shifted enough that he could make out her bright blue eyes studying him through her straight her. “I suppose you wanted to know what happened?” she breathed out.

“I’m more concerned about you than what happened. I wouldn’t mind knowing of course, but only if you want to talk about it.” He couldn’t help the edge of worry bleeding into his voice. He didn’t want to stress her more, but his human curiosity really did want to know.

“There was an… explosion… of some sort. I’m not entirely certain what happened exactly.” She moved to sit with her legs to the side, inches between their shoulders.

“I’m glad you weren’t hurt,” he stated softly, eyes stinging.

She barked a bitter laugh at that, and he did his best not to jump at the sound. That wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. He leaned forward just enough to see her face, and her eyes shifted away once she noticed. Her blue eyes were puffy and red-rimmed. Since she wasn’t going to seek the comfort she needed, he decided to give it instead. Slowly and with plenty of time for her to knock his hand away, he wrapped one arm around her shoulders and tugged her closer. She complied and leaned against his side, closing her eyes.

“It wasn’t exactly small…” she muttered.

“Yeah… I’m getting that feeling,” he responded, quickly glancing around the park. “I didn’t see anything though, just came straight to you.”

There was another few moments of silence. The wind rustled the trees a bit, and he vaguely wondered how the sky could be so blue on a day like this. The explosion was on campus. Summer classes or not, there was still plenty of potential for people he knew to be injured. He wanted to help, but he stayed by Alex’s side, knowing she didn’t actually have anyone else and needed someone in this moment.

Rubbing circles into her far shoulder, he looked away. Another moment of silence passed, and Cody idly listened to the commotion and conversations in the distance. Growing uncomfortable with the silence, he pondered out loud, “I wonder just how many are hurt.” She stiffened and sucked in a breath, drawing his attention back to her. He mentally cursed himself for his insensitivity.

“Lexi, sweetheart. Talk to me. What are you thinking? What’s going on inside that head of yours.” He paused a moment to slow himself down, knew that too much eagerness would push her away. “I just… I want to help you, but I don’t know how,” he pleaded.

Choking on the words, she spit out “Seventeen.”

He furrowed his brow and gave her a confused glance, “Seventeen what?”

She pulled away, and brought her knees to her chest. She fought down the hurricane of emotions threatening to spill out. After a moment, she closed her glassy eyes and whispered, “Seventeen dead.”

A sickening dread froze him still. “What… what do you mean?” He waited for a response, but it didn't come. He tried to think things through, place together the puzzle pieces of what he knew about her. Slowly it dawned on him with a creeping sort of horror. She was a herald of mind. She mentioned at some point that there were pros and cons to her magic, but she refused to expound upon it. Could she feel the pain of the other people there? The chaos and panic across the entire crowd? Suddenly he was the one moving away and kneeling on the sidewalk, nausea nearly overcoming him. It was bad enough to see people hurt, to see people die. That in itself is enough trauma to cause crippling levels of PTSD. He didn’t want to even think about what witnessing that on a magical level felt like to her. He ended up retching himself.

When he was done, he wiped at his mouth with the edge of his shirt. He turned and pulled her back against his shoulder. Choking back the knot in his throat, he whispered, “I’m so so sorry.”

Her face scrunched up and a few tears escaped her eyes. With her breath hitching and voice shaking, she briefly met his eyes before looking away again. “I... It just… It was suddenly so dark.” She choked on the last word, and Cody turned so she could properly bury her face in his shoulder. She seemed to appreciate it, but then stiffened and pulled away after a minute. The trembling returned to her shoulders. “Don’t. Cody, just… don’t. I don’t… deserve comfort.”

“What are you talking about? Of course you do Lexi,” he said trying to search her eyes for an answer.

“No. You don’t… you don’t get it!” she flinched back and tore at her hair. She continued with a ragged voice, “I… I could have done something. Anything. If I was paying more attention. If I had been smart enough to keep my magic open, stayed alert, maybe I could have stopped it. Sensed the violent intent. Maybe I could have…” She stopped talking once she noticed her tears freely flowing. She was almost swaying forward and back in her attempt to control her breathing.

Cody with tears in his own eyes grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to look at him. When she refused to lift her head, he used one hand to gently lift it by the chin. “No. Don’t you dare think like that. You’re a herald who can do some pretty weird stuff, but you’re still human. You could not have possibly expected this. You could not have anticipated a convention going to hell.”

She shook off his hands and glared at him, tears still pouring. “Except I could have! With this political climate?! With all the chaos going on with the law and heralds right now? I could have assumed… I should have known Cody! I should have known!” She cried, and curled back in on herself in the same way he found her.

This time he gently grabbed her by the shoulders, and tugged her against his chest with her head turned into his shoulder. “I refuse to believe that. And even if you think you don’t deserve it, I still have the right to give you comfort.” His breath caught in his throat, and he pressed his face into the hollow of her neck, her straight hair brushing against his face. “Besides, I’m fairly convinced at this point you haven’t gotten enough comfort in your life. I want… I’m going to change that. And I won’t let you stop me. You… this… is worth fighting for.”

With keening sobs, she curled into his lap, and he rocked her back and forth for a while, losing sense of time in his attempts to comfort her. The wind rustled again, but this time he didn’t look up.

After her crying died down, he worked up the courage to ask, “Does it... hurt? The… mind stuff I mean. Do you feel their pain? Their panic?”

She sniffled and nuzzled her face into his shoulder just a little more. “Sorta? If I wanted to feel the pain I could. Otherwise I just sort of pick up on all pain equally, physical and emotional, but it’s glazed over and blunted. It’s hard, overwhelming even but… not like… nothing like people dying.”

He took a moment to breathe, to let that sink in and let her reign herself back in a bit. After a moment, he questioned quietly, “What… do you mean… exactly?” He needed to understand, to see this from her point of view.

She pulled back enough to stare at her hands for a moment. When she looked up at him, her eyes looked absolutely haunted. Empty yet filled with pain all at the same time. She opened her mouth to speak but choked on the word and screwed her eyes tight. Gently, he held one of her hands and used his other hand to wipe at her tears. The ghost of a smile flittered across his face when she leaned into his touch.

“There’s always… everyone is sort of like a light with a busy-ness to it. Like a… like a flickering flame. For that to just… suddenly go out. I can’t describe it… That sudden… abyss... but there’s so much more to it than that. I just… don’t know how to...” She closed her eyes and gave up trying to explain.

Cody used his free hand to rub at his face. Darkness is scary yes, but how could it be this painful? Seeing people die is hard, hard in ways he hopes to never understand. Actually feeling that death? All those deaths, one after another? Yes, that would be terribly hard to describe, he assumed. To feel, to know death on such a visceral, intimate level with a sense he has never even felt? Is it an inky, crawling murkiness? Is it a deep, seemingly endless pit? Suddenly Cody felt nauseous all over again. He pulled Alex close again, this time for his comfort and hers.

“I’m so sorry babygirl. I’m so… so sorry.” He closed his eyes and squeezed tight before easing up on his grip.

She responded with a sad but genuine smile, “Thank you… for coming, that is. And trying to understand.”

Running a hand through his hair, Cody stood up and offered Alex a hand. She gave a confused look but took it nonetheless.

“Come on, Lexi. I have the rest of the day off. And you do now too, because I said so and you don’t actually work a summer job you freaky summer student you. Let’s go find some really distracting movies and a hoard of comfort food.”

A small laugh escaped her mouth, “You’re speaking my love language. Your manipulation isn’t exactly subtle though.”

“I am not manipulating you. Comfort and manipulation are not the same,” he stated, crossing his arms.

“It’s a kind of manipulation,” she responded, raising an eyebrow.

He just shook his head. He long ago figured out that some basics of human interaction escaped her despite her mind reading. “You, uh… live near campus right? I might’ve biked here.”

She laughed openly then and batted her eyelashes at him as if they weren’t sticking together from wetness. “Aaaw, you can’t take me for a romantic ride on your bike?”

“Well, I mean, you can try to sit on the handlebars or something, but I’m not helping you if you fall,” He responded, grabbing her by the hand and leading her to where he left his bike. When he looked back briefly, she had on the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen.

*****

Later that night when they’re both curled up on the couch in her apartment, he made sure to rub her back when she started crying all over again. She tried to shoo him out at some point to get some proper rest in his own bed, but he wholeheartedly refused. She was more important than a single night’s rest. He slept on her bedroom floor and piled it high with every spare pillow and blanket they could find. Every time she started having a nightmare, he woke her up. Every time, she would cry in response as if she was incapable of comprehending such kindness and dedication let alone the day’s trauma. She decided to do whatever she could to say thank you in every way she knew how, not just for the day but for being her friend at all. He decided to add another member to his family.

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s the second short story. This one is focused on revealing who Alex is more and introducing Cody as a person. I’m still not 100% satisfied with it, but I think at this point I need to move on to a different piece. If that first story was a 60%, this one is probably 65% to me. The next short story will be first person, so it will be a different style entirely. I like the next one a lot more, so look forward to it!


End file.
